CARL HIAASEN CHOMP PDF

Something else much more primal drives them: rage. Rage at corrupt politicians, greedy developers, corporate polluters, environmental desecrators, crooked lawyers, avaricious doctors, cheats, scoundrels, scam artists, zealots, and lowlifes of every description. Oh, he has been compared to a lot of people. Among the writers he has been likened to are deep breath Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. But he is an American original.

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Tourist Season [ edit ] B. Harper had not risen to the pinnacle of his profession by making enemies. His mission, in fact, had been quite the opposite: to make as many friends as possible and offend no one.

Harper had been good at this. He positively excreted congeniality. Chapter 3 It was then that he had gotten the idea to invite journalists, but not just any journalists: travel writers.

Sparky Harper and the Greater Miami Chamber of Commerce adored travel writers because travel writers never wrote stories about street crime, water pollution, fish kills, beach erosion, refugees, AIDS epidemics, nuclear accidents, cocaine smugglers, gun-runners, or race riots. Once in a while, a daring travel writer would mention one of these subjects in passing, but strictly in the context of a minor setback from which South Florida was pluckily rebounding.

The bass is not picky; it is hardy, prolific, and on a given day will eat just about any God-awful lure dragged in front of its maw. As a fighter it is bullish, but tires easily; as a jumper its skills are admirable, though no match for a graceful rainbow trout or tarpon ; as table fare it is blandly acceptable, even tasty when properly seasoned.

Its astonishing popularity comes from a modest combination of these traits, plus the simple fact that there are so many largemouth bass swimming around that just about any damn fool can catch one. Chapter 2 He won the governorship running as a Democrat, but proved to be unlike any Democrat or Republican that the state of Florida had ever seen.

To the utter confusion of everyone in Tallahassee, Clinton Tyree turned out to be a completely honest man. Chapter 10 Malcolm J. Moldowsky did not hesitate to address United States Congressman Dave Dilbeck as "a card-carrying shithead.

Gennifer Flowers was just a country singer. Ask Chuck Robb. Or that horny idiot Hart. Bode stretched it. The intestinal unrest that occasionally afflicted him surely was the result of drinking milk taken from secretly radiated cows.

The roaches in his apartment were planted by his filthy immigrant next-door neighbors. His dire financial plight was caused by runaway bank computers and conniving Wall Street Zionists; his bad luck in the South Florida job market, prejudice against English-speaking applicants. Even the lousy weather had a culprit: air pollution from Canada, diluting the ozone and derailing the jet stream. As a lobbyist, he had long ago concluded that there was no difference in how Democrats and Republicans conducted the business of government.

The game stayed the same; it was always about favors and friends and who controlled the dough. Party labels were merely a way to keep track of the teams; issues were mostly smoke and vaudeville. Nobody believed in anything except hanging on to power, whatever it took.

So at election time, Stoat advised his clients to hedge generously by donating large sums to all sides. The strategy was as immensely pragmatic as it was cynical. Your heart will tell you to do one thing, and your brain will tell you to do something different. Chapter 13 Star Island [ edit ] It would have been understandable for a mother at that moment to stare at her spoiled, hapless offspring and doubt herself, or at least feel hobbled with remorse.

It was them for whom Janet Bunterman imagined herself sacrificing so tirelessly. Chapter

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